It’s Nice to Meet You: An Invitation to Seeing Your Body from a Parts of Self Perspective

Therapy is a process of discovery — not only of your past experiences and relationships, but of the many different parts that live within you. Each part carries its own story, emotions, and survival strategies. At Kairos Counseling & Family Therapy, we invite you to meet these parts with curiosity and compassion, offering a path toward healing and integration.

This journey builds on what we’ve explored in our earlier blog posts about Polyvagal Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology. Understanding your nervous system and how your brain develops over time provides the foundation for working with the inner parts of yourself.

Recognizing Parts of Self in Therapy

In the field of psychology, several theories describe how we are made up of different parts:

- "Shapiro’s Easy Ego State Interventions" help clients safely explore and integrate different ego states.
- "Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS)" model describes the inner world as a family of parts, each with its own role and purpose.

These approaches recognize that our internal system isn’t a sign of pathology — it’s a sign of adaptation. Your body and mind have developed these parts to keep you safe and functioning in challenging environments.

The Four Parts of Self

At Kairos, we use a four-part framework to help clients understand their inner world. These four parts work together like layers of a garden bed or the foundation of a house — each layer playing a vital role in growth and stability.

1. "Created Version"
  - This is the version of you that existed before you were even planted in your mother’s womb — divinely created, whole, and worthy.

2. "Wounded Version"
  - These are the child versions of you whose needs weren’t met in childhood. Drawing from Jaak Panksepp’s affective neural circuits and Erikson’s Psychosocial Development model, these parts hold the pain of unmet attachment needs and developmental wounds.

3. "Adaptive Version"
  - Born out of the Wounded Version’s pain, the Adaptive Version develops to protect and survive. These parts often express themselves through Polyvagal dysregulation:
    - Fight – anger, rage, control
    - Flight – anxiety, panic, hypervigilance
    - Freeze– shutdown, depression, withdrawal
    - Fawn – people-pleasing, over-functioning, self-abandonment

4. "Oldest Wisest Version"
  - The part of you that is "Eternally Curious, Eternally Calm, and eternally moving toward Connection" — within yourself, with others, and with the world. This version is your inner healer. When it is strengthened, it can nurture the Wounded Versions and help the Adaptive Versions release their protective roles.

The Role of EMDR and Resourcing

A key part of this process is **EMDR resourcing**, which helps you connect with your Oldest Wisest Version. Through carefully guided experiences, you can meet and care for your Wounded Versions while honoring the work your Adaptive Versions have done to keep you safe. This is where true integration begins — as each part of you is seen, understood, and valued.

An Invitation to Wholeness

Meeting the different parts of yourself can feel like meeting old friends for the first time. Some of these parts may be scared, angry, or tired. Others may feel deeply relieved to finally be recognized. In therapy, we create a safe space for all of these experiences, honoring the wisdom of your body and mind.

Your Oldest Wisest Version is always there, ready to guide you toward healing. Through relational and experiential work, we help you cultivate that connection and live from a place of integration and wholeness.

Looking Ahead

In our next blog post, we will explore how **EMDR therapy** specifically supports parts work and deep healing. We’ll discuss how bilateral stimulation and resourcing techniques help you engage your nervous system while fostering connection among your internal parts.

Begin Your Journey

If you are ready to meet your parts and begin your healing journey, we are here to walk with you.

Contact Kairos Counseling & Family Therapy:

📞 Call: 214-253-9207

📧 Email: Neddy@KairosCFT.com